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How to Become a Good Negotiator, with Dr. Joshua Weiss - Ep #34

May 31, 2019

Have you ever wondered what it takes to become a good negotiator? Do you have to take a class or get a certificate? Imagine how gaining that skill would help you advance in your career. Thankfully, Mark was able to connect with the renowned negotiator, Dr. Joshua Weiss.

Joshua is the co-founder, with William Ury, of the Global Negotiation Initiative at Harvard University and a Senior Fellow at the Harvard Negotiation Project. He is also the Director and creator of the Master of Science degree in Leadership and Negotiation at Bay Path University.

Joshua received his Ph.D. from the Institute for Conflict Analysis and Resolution at George Mason University in 2002. Dr. Weiss has spoken and published on Negotiation, Mediation, and systemic approaches to dealing with conflict.

In his current capacity, Joshua conducts research, consults with many different types of organizations, delivers negotiation and mediation trainings, and engages in negotiation and mediation at the organizational, corporate, government, and international levels.

What You’ll Hear On This Episode of When Science Speaks

  • [1:00] Mark introduces his guest, Joshua Weiss.
  • [3:00] Why you need to give yourself permission to negotiate.
  • [7:00] How to prepare and research for a negotiation.
  • [11:00] The value of connecting on a human level.
  • [16:50] What inspired Joshua to write children’s books?
  • [24:20] Joshua explains how he got involved in conflict resolution.
  • [27:45] Storytellers and negotiators that have impressed Joshua.
  • [30:30] Tips for becoming a good negotiator.

Connect with Joshua Weiss

Resources & People Mentioned

Give yourself permission to negotiate

Do you think of yourself as a good negotiator? How often do you get the chance to negotiate and leverage your abilities into a better position? The truth is, most people are terrible negotiators because they don’t give themselves permission to negotiate. If you can get a seat at the table, you are worthy of negotiating. Think about it - you’ve obviously made it that far because the person you are sitting across the table from finds value in what you have to offer.

After you’ve jumped the hurdle of giving yourself permission to negotiate - the next step is preparing for the negotiation. Every good negotiator spends 75% of their time preparing for the negotiation. Does that number shock you? It shouldn’t - when you get down to the basics of negotiation, it all comes down to understanding the other person and working to create common ground. How do you plan to find common ground if you don’t do your homework?

Tips for improving your negotiation skills

As you can tell, preparation is an essential aspect of becoming a good negotiator. Once you’ve got a good approach to researching and preparing for your negotiation - the next phase is the actual negotiation itself. How can you set yourself up for success during the negotiation process?

Now that you are in the room and at the table, the negotiation begins - in this phase, you’ve got to be ready to make a connection with the person sitting across from you. Remember, they are a person just like you - don’t focus exclusively on facts and figures - above all else connect with them. As the great poet, Maya Angelou said, “At the end of the day people won't remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.”

You’ll never succeed as a good negotiator if you don’t learn how to connect with people and make them feel that you are interested and that you care. Good negotiators aren’t born, they are made. Go deeper with Joshua’s full conversation with Mark and make sure to check out the helpful resources he mentioned to learn more about this critical topic.

Connect With Mark and When Science Speaks